Randomly Magically Odd
by TheArchivist10
Summary: A series's of random drabbles. Crack.


**Here's a little bit of fun.**

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**Konoe family reunion**

After having had everything explained to them there was silence in the headmaster's office. Sure by this point 3A were used to the idea of Chao being the descendant of their teacher Negi, but now they had trapped temporarily in the present/past? An older Evangeline, a boy? Swordsman and apparently Konoka's grandson.

Asuna was just thankful that only a herself, Setsuna, Konoka, their Eva, Negi and Nodoka (to confirm whether they were saying the truth) there. Otherwise it would of been chaos.

Finally it was Touta who broke the silence by asking a question. "So you're my great-great grandfather, right?" he asked the headmaster.

"That's right Touta-kun, " answered the ancient man, though internally he was cheering for the fact that the Konoe line will go on.

Then Touta turned to Konoka. "And you're my grandma, right?" he asked pointing a finger at her.

"Oh, yeah. Looks like it doesn't it?" answered Konoka chiperly, giving Touta a big smile. But that smile disappeared when she saw that Touta had lowered his head and his whole body was shaking.

"Touta-ku..." suddenly Touta was right in front of her holding her hands as a river of tears fell down his face,

"You're so pretty, " he proclaimed, which caused everyone but Konoka and Yukihime to facefault.

Konoka meanwhile was just confused and tilted her head. "Eh?"

"My friends always talked about how old and wrinkly and grumpy their grandparents were, " continued Touta, his eyes now sparkling, "But you're very pretty and chipper and friendly. Nothing like how they described their grandparents!"

Asuna just sweatdroped and turned to Yukihime/Future Eva and her androgynous friend, who looked incredibly embarrassed. "He's an idiot isn't he?"

Yukihime chuckled lightly. "Like you're one to talk, Kagurazaka."

A sob from Konoka drew Asuna's attention back to the two Konoes. Now it seemed that Konoka was also crying her eyes out holding Touta's hand tightly.

"Touta-kun, " she managed to sob out, before embracing her grandson in the same inescapable hug that she reserved for those closest to her. "I'm so happy to have such a fantastic grandson like you! You're so handsome and friendly!"

Touta was now returning the hug. "Konoka-bachan!" he called out.

"Touta-kun!" called out Konoka.

Everyone just looked on with massive sweatdrops not daring to say anything to disturb this heartwarming? scene.

Yukihime turned to look at Nodoka who was blinking in confusion. 'Bet she's wondering whether she was needed to confirm our story now, ' she thought to herself.

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**Advice.**

Asuna looked at the dog boy sitting opposite from her quietly. Both were alone in her dorm sitting at the small table. Neither said anything, especially after what Kotaro had just told her.

Kotaro meanwhile looked like he wanted to dig himself a hole and bury himself in it, if the red tinge on his cheeks was anything to go by.

"Pff"

Kotaro's ears twitched at the very bad attempt to hide her laughter that Asuna was doing.

"Bwa ha..I'm sorry. I'm sorry" apologized Asuna who had a huge grin on her face."It's just that of all people for you to say that you like. I can't believe you said Ayaka!"

Kotaro was extremely close to jumping out the window and getting as far as he could. But he held his ground, Chizuru had said that if anyone could help him win Ayaka over, it would be Asuna.

"It's not funny, " growled Kotaro angrily.

"Yeah I know you're right, " admitted Asuna, wiping a tear away. Then she gave Kotaro a sincere smile, "In all honesty I actually think it's rather sweet, " she admitted.

Kotaro grumbled something under his breath embarrassedly.

"Seriously though, " said Asuna, putting a hand on his shoulder. "I think you two would be good together."

Kotaro perked up a bit at this, "You think so?" Damn it! He hated how hopeful he sounded, like some love struck idiot.

"Yeah, I do, " replied Asuna, happily. "She tends to have her head in the clouds too much and let's herself get carried away. I think that you would be good for her and her for you."

Kotaro didn't care how large his grin was, he couldn't hide it, "Really? So are you going to help?" he asked eagerly.

Standing up, Asuna motioned Kotaro to do the same. "Yeah follow me. I'll help"

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Kotaro stared in disbelief at what was before him. Asuna had escorted him out of her dorm and lead him to some hidden room that was both huge...

"It's a blow to my pride as a man you know, " muttered Kotaro, "The fact that even you draw in more girls than me"

...and filled with at least half of 3A, plus those girls from Ariadne. All of whom were in at least in some sort of state of undress.

"The Ariadne girls are Yue's though, " answered Asuna as she locked the door behind her, she then looked down at Kotaro with a smirk. "And if you can't get a harem, be part of one. It'll be fun to have a guy around for once"

She then cupped her hands around her mouth. "Hey Incho! Kotaro-kun is here to see you!"

Kotaro just sighed and resigned himself to his fate. Though he did wonder whether Chizuru knew about this, he couldn't see her anywhere.

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**Roomate.**

Chizuru, Natsumi, Ayaka and Kotaro all sat silently staring at their new 'tenant'.

Sextum meanwhile stared right back, unblinkingly as she waited for a response. She hoped that there wasn't a misunderstanding, she had read the letter from the headmaster herself before giving it to her future roommates and she doubted there could be much confusion.

"So..." started Ayaka nervously. "You're going to now be living with us?"

"Yes, " she answered plainly.

"And the headmaster is okay with this?" asked Chizuru.

"Yes."

"Why?" squeaked out Natsumi.

"The headmaster believes that the combined efforts of Chizuru Naba's artifact and your own. Plus the fact that Kotaro-k...san was able to match me during my assault, that in the remote case that I shall turn rogue that you would be able to stop me, " she answered in monotone.

The foursome nodded in understanding.

It was true, Natsumi and Chizuru had fearsome artifacts. Though she hadn't contemplated that someone other than Tertium or Negi, who were not there at the time, would be able to stall her on her would-be revenge on Ala Alba.

Despite this Kotaro Inugami had been able to weaken her enough to the point that she had no other option but to surrender once the Headmaster and Takahata arrived.

She then added. "Plus I am to believe that there are several other decently powerful fighters in this building. Including someone with magic cancel that could impede me."

Chizuru clasped her hands together. "Well I'm sure that the headmaster knows what he's doing. Welcome to your new home Sextum-san."

Sextum gave a small nod in gratitude. Though the headmaster had condoned the living arrangements, he hadn't been the one to propose it.

After her unconditional surrender the water Averruncus had been unable to stop thinking about that hanyo that had stopped her. From what she understood Quintum had defeated him without difficulty.

Yet she had been impeded. Could he have grown in strength to such an extent within just a year?

So to examine the oddity up close she had made a proposal to the headmaster. She would willingly allow herself to have her power restricted and signed a magical contract to help protect Mahora.

In exchange to be allowed to live in the dorm where Inugami lived instead of the cramped up cell in Mahora's underground.

Her attention was brought back to the object of her curiosity, as Kotaro stretched he'd his arms and sat up.

"Well now that that's over, " he said, putting his arms behind his bed. "I gotta go."

Sextum watched as the dog boy walked to the bathroom until he closed the door behind him.

Turning to look back at her female roommates, Sextum wasn't sure why but she felt compelled to say;

"Mine."

A shiver went down all three of the girls' spines. This meant war.

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**Harem**

Negi's eye vaguely twitched after having the situation spelled out for him.

Negi gave Asuna a questioning look. "And you teased me of being popular."

Asuna just grinned embarrassedly, scratching the back of her head.

"Well it just sort of...happened..." said Asuna sheepishly. "And then it just snowballed from then."

'Snowballed' was putting it lightly.

Negi was aware, that as direct member of the Ostian royal family, Asuna was apparently entitled to have as many concubines as possible if she wished.

He just didn't expect that she would accidentally charm all of 3A along with Kotaro. Who seemed to be trying, and failing, to hide the fact he seemed to be enjoying being pet like a dog by Akira.

Negi quickly blushed and averted his gaze though once he spotted Nodoka and Yue kissing.

"Yeah. A real plot twist, " grumbled a familiar voice. "What kind of crappy resolution is this. Geez."

Negi turned to see Chisame, who had been the one to talk, sitting at a row of chairs with Yuna and Mana sitting very closely on either side of the bespectacled girl. Yuna even had a hand placed on her thigh. Despite this even Negi could tell that Chisame seemed happy.

Negi was the type of person to always wish someone ended up happily. Though he was slightly unsure of how to react to this situation.

So he settled for giving a sincere, "I hope you're all happy together, " as he gave a quick vow.

Then walked out if the class. "I need a cup of tea, " he mumbled to himself.

Asuna watched Negi walk away. 'He took it better than I expected.'

Feeling someone's arms wrap around her waist, Asuna just sighed and leaned into the embrace.

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**Wives**

Asuna had never imagined that this was the way she was going to end up married. She had at first envisioned herself marrying Takahata-sensei way back then.

After being turned down she still held hope to one day find that right someone. But now she found herself with multiple 'wives' and one 'husband'.

Though actually wives, isn't the right term, the one she was really married to was Ayaka, but Asuna didn't like the term 'concubines', it made her feel like some sleazy pervert.

So no matter what the situation she would always say that she was married to multiple people, because she loved everyone one of them.

The only others who were married by law were Konoka and Setsuna and Kotaro and Natsumi respectively. Yue and Nodoka had actually gotten engaged a couple of weeks ago and were now planing their wedding.

But Asuna swore that once she re-established the Ostian kingdom she would do what's possible to make her 'marriage' to everyone else official.

It wasn't the life she planned, but she wouldn't give it up for anything.

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**Never give up**

Negi hummed happily to himself as he walked down the hall of the senate council building. Things had gone well today, there had been no crises, no complications and best of all no objections from bigoted, anti-mundane old men.

So for the first time in quite some time, Negi had the evening and night free, maybe even the next day if everything went fine. Pity that the gates were closed since yesterday otherwise he'd of headed to Mahora straight away.

Sighing Negi kept walking as he tried to think of what to do...

"Negi!"

Caught by surprise by someone calling his name, the young Mage stopped in his tracks and turned around to see who had called him.

There with her clothes in tatters, one of her pig tails loose and panting, stood his childhood friend...

"Anya?! What are you doing here? More importantly. What happened?!"

Anya stomped towards him, hand outstretched.

Negi expected her to hit him at first but was caught by surprise when she grabbed his hand started dragging him away.

"Anya?" he managed to squeak out.

"We're going on a date!"

"Wha...?"

"Shut up! I went through a LOT to make sure we could spend tonight alone together, " she turned her head to give him a 'got a problem with that?' look. "So tonight is going to just be about you and me. Got it?"

Especially seeing as all his friends are shacking up with each other.

Negi just nodded dumbly as he was dragged away.

Nekane, who was in similar tatters as Anya, gave a small giggle from her hiding place in a nearby wardrobe, as her cousin was dragged away by the fire Mage.

"Good luck Anya, " she whispered.

"Hmph hmph hmph"

Looking behind her to look at her 'captive', a certain white haired boy currently wrap in rows of magic canceling chains, Nekane gave her best impression of Chizuru's 'smile'.

"Now you are going to let them have their fun, understood?" she asked in sickeningly sweet voice. "Otherwise you're going get just what you want. A Negi up your-"

END

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**Insanity**

The part of Chisame that used to hate the idea of being involved with all this weirdness wept. The rest of her though just sighed and rested her bare back on the soft sheets.

"How did this happen?"

She knew how it happened though, it was Asuna's and Yue's ridiculous pornomancer talents that caused this. She could accept performing these acts with her entire class, she could accept doing it with the Ariadne girls and their resident dog boy, she could even accept inviting the single members of Ala Rubra in every now and then.

But then they started to play with Chao's inter dimensional travel machine. They checked some worlds where they encountered themselves, some were identical, some were completely different.

Though there were those two dimensions that were locked away and they couldn't enter. When they asked the computer it classified them as 'the corrupt DH worlds' that Chao had quarantined.

Then they started to meet people from worlds that weren't themselves, there were those insane pirates that naturally her classmates got along with, those Shinigami, those magical girls Nanoha from one world, and Sakura from another, that loud blonde ninja, etc.

Chisame could even tolerate it when they invited those people in.

But she drew the line at those huge ass robots from space. How did that even work? Chisame just focused on the guests from other verses, who were at the very least her size.

Though she admitted it was fun to see Chachamaru have a 'nosebleed' when they transformed the first time in front of them.

Chisame just sighed again and snuggled up in between Nanoha and Naruto (she had decided to go for 'N's' for fun) while drowning out Chachamaru's screams of "Optimus-sama"

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**Past and Future**

"Kuromaro! Kuromaro!" called out Touta, walking down the streets of Mahora. Damn it! Yukihime had warned them not to get lost in this place, she was going to skewer him Bevause naturally he was going to be the one she blamed.

Not that it wasn't of course. Damn robot dinasours for being so cool!

Touta sighed and sat down on a nearby bench.

"Where is he?" he muttered to himself, resting his head on a hand.

He waited there idly watching as people walked by, 'Wow people really like cosplay in the past huh?' Though he had to admit that they were prety cool.

'Maybe Kuromaro decided to cosplay too' he mussed.

He leaved back and stretched his arms, "It's going to take forever to find-huh?"

Was that Kuromaro? It certainly looked like it if Kuro cut his hair, they were dressed in a tuxedo and walking alongside two girls that Touta had never seen before, one brunette dressed like a milo and another, a red head, dressed in a sailor uniform.

Now most people would think twice before approaching someone who had a passing resemblance to a friend who they last saw twenty minutes ago. Touta isn't most people.

"Hey, Kuromaro!" called out Touta, jumping of the bench. In a second he was behind the tuxedoe'd person placing a hand on their shoulder. "Kuro-"

The next thing Touta knew he was on his back on the floor, his eyes scrunched up, groaning.

"Are you okay?" asked a concerned voice.

Touta cracked his eyes open and saw the person who had asked him the question.

It was the girl in the miko outfit, now that Toita got a good look at the girls face and he inmediatly decide that she was very prety.

"Yeah. I'm fine" he groaned.

"What's the matter with you? You creep!" said the red haired girl, coming into Touta's view also. She was also quite prety, despite her scowling, and those mismatches eyes were quite exotic.

"Sorry. I thought he was my friend" groaned out Touta as he sat up.

"Who?" asked the red head.

"The guy in the suit, " replied the boy, turning his head to the side he now saw the guy in the suit standing next to the miko girl. He seemed rather unhappy his eye twitching and all.

The miko girl though just giggled, causing the boy in the suit to blush. "Setchan's a girl silly, " she said.

"Ooh, I see it now, " said Touta, as he got to his feet, "Anyone ever tell you that you're kinda boyish?"

The girl in the suits eye started twitching more prominently. "Yes, " she replied drily.

Touta then felt the red gead's fist collide with the top of his head. "What kind of thing is that to say to girl?!" she asked indignanly.

Touta rubbed his head, 'Damn! She hits hard, ' he then turned to the 'Setchan' girl. "Don't take it the wrong way, " he said placatingly, "I confused you with my friend Kuromaro who's very girly. In fact I first thought he was a girl when we first met."

'Setchan' visibly relaxed, "It's okay I guess, " she then bowed apologetically. "Sorry if I harmed you before. My instincts just kicked in."

Touta just waved it off, "Nah, don't worry about it, " he said grining, he then tapped his head with his knuckle, "I'm immortal."

The red head and Setchan slightly tensed when he said this, though he didn't notice.

The equally oblivious brunette girl then asked, "So your friend really looks like a girl, huh?"

Touta nodded at the friendly girl, "Yeah. In fact I still think he is. What kind of guy covers his chest in an onsen anyway?" He asked waving his arms indignanly.

The brunette girl giggled at that. "That's really strange isn't it?"

"Hell yeah it is!" he then got a determined look on his face "But I'm going to find out one day! He may say he's a guy, but I'm not going to believe that 'till I see his di-"

This time the red head hit him with a harrisen, "Don't use such perverted language in front of girls!" she screeched while Setchan blushed beet red.

The brunette girl giggled again.

None noticed the two blond vampires watching the scene.

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**Sleep**

"Ah Asuna-san" Ayaka greeted her long time rival, she was feeling particularly good today and wasn't in the mood for a fight. "What are you doing here?"

Asuna didn't reply. She just stood there staring blankly in front of her.

Ayaka internally fumed, here she was trying to be nice and this monkey was ignoring her.

"I said hello, " she said in a obviously fake sweet voice. "Are you perhaps waiting for Konoka-san and Setsun-"

A sudden snort from Asuna interrupted the blonde heiress. The hell with politeness! If Asuna didn't care enough for friendly greetings, well neither did she.

"Do you intentionally act like a rude monkey or is it just natural?!" she half screamed as she slapped Asuna up the head.

Asuna stumbled for a second and much to Ayaka's shock, her eyes rolled into the back of her head till they disappeared, revealing another set of eyes underneath.

Asuna shook her head in trying to clear her head, she then spotted her blonde rival.

"Iincho! Did you just hit me? What te hell is a matter with you?!"

Ayaka didn't respond, instead she just starred with an eye twitching.

"Were you.." she finally managed to spit out. "...asleep? ...On you feet?"

Asuna tilted her head to the side, "Well...yeah. I didn't get any sleep last night...Wait! Don't change the subject!" she yelled pointing a finger at Ayaka.

The blonde heiress didn't reply. She just shook her head, turned around and walked away. Ignoring Asuna's protestant yells as she did so.

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**Reaction**

They stared without saying a word. The story hadn't been what they expected.

Suddenly Asuna coughed, "Well that was..."

"Hot" exclaimed Haruna, who had a very noticeable nosebleed.

Asuna turned to look at her classmates, who were staring at her an Yue with unreadable expression.

"Umm, I was going to say 'flattering', " seeing some of her classmates raise their eyebrows, she quickly added, "It's not that I'd be repulsed by the idea. It's jus..."

"Not worth thinking over, Asuna-san, " stated Yue, taking a sip from her juice. "Well it is for me at least. I doubt anyone would ever-"

"That's not true!" interrupted a certain shy bookworm. Her outburst causing everyone to look at her.

Shying away a bit from the stares, Nodoka still keeping her focus on Yue. "You are a loyal, supporting and a brave friend. Not only that you are, contrary to your beliefs, an attractive person."

She was now holding her best friends hands. "It might be fiction, but that doesn't mean it's impossible, " she said passionately.

"Same goes for you Asuna, " said Konoka going up to her friend. "And Setchan agrees. Don't you?"

"O..of course, " stuttered Setsuna.

By now both Asuna and Yue were blushing furiously.

"Konoka, " gasped Asuna, "What are you sayi-?"

She suddenly found her lips being captured by Konoka's. While the rest of the class stared with wide eyes.

"Konoka-sa-" Yue's lips were taken by Nodoka.

"Don't leave us out!" exclaimed Haruna, as the rest joined in.

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Asuna sighed as she laid between Konoka and Setsuna.

'Not how I envisioned this day going...' she then felt Setsuna caressing her inner thigh. 'But I'm not complaining.'

"Chizu-nee, who're you calling?" asked Natsumi, as she saw Chizuru furiously dial the numbers on her mobile.

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**Victory**

Negi yawned as he finally got to his room in the hotel that Kotaro's sixteenth birthday had been held, though like everyone else he got to enjoy some time an untimely cal from Godel regarding the project kept him away for over fifty minutes as he talked over the phone.

Sighing, he deactivated the illusion cast around himself and reverted to his real form an eleven year old boy and started changing into his pajamas.

Once he he done so he felt a slight tremor he didn't know what it was but he didn't sense any danger but he was sure it was felt around the hotel and was that a girl's scream? He couldn't tell there was slight echo into it.

Though he was slightly worried he still couldn't sense any danger so he thought maybe best to sleep it over if there was trouble someone would of contacted him telepathically.

As he walked to his bed someone knocked on his door. Turning back to his door as quickly as possible in case someone needed help he opened the door.

What he saw made his eyes widen.

There standing in the hallway with only a towel around his waist stood Kotaro. Before Negi could say anything Kotaro quickly spat out something green from his mouth, was that a lemon? And looked at Negi with a triumphant look.

"I WON!" proclaimed the dog man pointing a finger at Negi, he could smell alcohol on his friends breath"You've beaten me at fighting and shmarts and all that crap, but thish...thish alone I've won!"

Turning around Kotaro quickly left running down the hall, laughing as he did so, back to, he guessed, his own room.

Closing the door quietly Negi just walked back in to the center of the center of the room where he stood silently for a couple of minutes, feeling a strange sense of defeat, till he finally voiced his thoughts.

"What the hell?"

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**Bromance**

Kotaro had been excited to see his best friend again. It had been two months since they last saw each other. Though Kotaro had suggested sparring, Negi had said that he had something to tell they had gone to a nearby cafe.

Now the fourteen year old felt like gagging. Of all the things Negi had to tell him, he had to tell him about...that.

"So you...and...Anya..." he managed to choke out.

Negi nodded.

"And.." he could feel bile building up in his throat. "...Fate?"

Much to Kotaro's horror, Negi blushed and nodded again.

"How?"

Negi scratched the back of his head embarrasedly. "It kinda just...happened. Well it did start with a lot of alcohol..."

"NO I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT!" exclaimed Kotaro, covering his ears. "Forget I ever asked!"

Much to Kotaro's horror Negi seemed to have drifted of in his memory, with a disturbingly silly grin on his face.

"Oi! Negi! Snap out of it!"

Being brought back to the present, Negi gave a quick apology to his best friend.

Then Kotaro asked a question had been bugging him. "Why are you telling me this? What about Asuna?"

Negi then shifted very uncomfortably. "Well you see...I haven't told anyone about it yet because. Well..you know how the girls are like..."

Kotaro sweatdroped at that thought. Yeah, they would go ballistic.

"So I was hoping if you could help me by making sure that they were in a good mood when I told them"

Kotaro blinked and stared at the red head.

"Are you asking me to make sure that they're 'happy' when you tell them?"

Negi coughed into his hand as a blush formed on his cheeks. "Well I am aware of your arrangement..."

"Asuna's the head honcho in our little 'group' not me!" Damn Asuna, and her lovely accidental charms!

"I known that Kotaro-kun, " replied Ngei, rubbing the bridge of his nose."Listen, they took it badly when I turned down all their feelings and I admit I've always been worried about them for that. But I'm sure that you and Asuna-san will be able to comfort everyone"

Kotaro ran a hand through his hair, "And here I was worried that you were going to go Magia Erebea on me when you found out, " he said with a light chuckle.

Negi also let out a loose chuckle, "I'll admit I was surprised. But you all seem happy, so I'm glad for that."

"Good, " nodded Kotaro. Then an awkward silence decended upon the two teens.

"So you're..."

"Bisexual. Kotaro-kun, it isn't that complicated a word, "said Negi, giving a smile that oddly reminded Kotaro of Alibreo.

"Ah", another silence descended upon the two.

Which Negi, yet again, broke. "Kotaro-kun, do you fancy going to the bath house? I'm feeling rather sweaty after such a long journey."

Kotaro palled. Negi wanting to bathe? With him? Alone?

"Tha...thanks, but no thanks. I've already been. Plus I...I just remembered I going to meet up with..uh..Ku Fei, right."

Standing up, it took all his will power not to sprint away. "Been nice seeing ya'. Hope to hang out with you more later, bye, " he said in a hurry as he left the cafe.

Negi took a sip from his tea.

"Guess I'll have to give bad news to Anya on the Kotaro-kun front."

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End file.
